One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin .
As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin to jump. (“fixin” in Texas means “has the means or abilities to take action”).
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said,”Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and father.”
He replied, “My mom and dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.”
She said, “Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children.”
He replied, “I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids.”
She said, “Well, then you just remember the Alamo .”
He replied, ”What’s the Alamo ?”
She replied, “Well, bless your heart”! – You just go ahead and jump you little Yankee, Obama lovin’ Democrat Bastard. You’re holding up traffic.