High School Book Report

Students at a high school were assigned to read 2 books, ”Titanic” and ”My Life” by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the priceless proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His teacher gave him an A for this report.

“Titanic”: Cost – $29.99
“Clinton”: Cost – $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let’s not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of Seamen.
Clinton: Monica… Ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing.

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